We live in a culture which reinforces that ‘boys don’t cry’, ‘put on a brave face’ and ‘act like a man’, where aggression and anger are becoming the primary ways in which emotions are expressed. Boys grow into men who believe they should be strong, successful, independent and capable of solving their problems without help. A man who feels he should suppress his emotions sees becoming emotional as being out of control and showing his vulnerability. Having problems with anxiety or depression is considered weak. Men can find it particularly hard to talk about their feelings and this can make coming for counselling or therapy a big step.
Does this sound like you? If so, read on.
Men are not invincible. Like women they have experiences in life that cause them emotional pain such as problems in the work place, losing their jobs, financial worries and disability. They too experience broken relationships, the death of someone close and so on.
If you find it hard to ask for help, it is worth considering that depression occurs as often in men as in women, suicide is the most common cause of death in young men under the age of 35 and overall 75% of suicides in the UK are by men. Unemployment can lead to men developing depression – often within six months of losing their job. Men may misuse addictive drugs, especially alcohol in an attempt to deal with emotional health problems or other turn to addictive behaviours such as gambling, computer gaming and excessive pornography.
Help is available! Exercise, diet, training, support groups and counselling or coaching can all help.
Spokz People are aware that your needs are different from those of women and can adjust the counselling sessions to suit your needs, perhaps by offering more of a coaching approach if the issues are not too deep-seated.
Counselling helps you find a solution to a specific problem, issue or concern that is having an adverse effect on your life and appears to be difficult to solve. Counselling involves you telling the counsellor about yourself and your particular concerns. This includes the history of the problem you are experiencing and what you may have tried to sort it out. Together with you the counsellor can assist you to find a solution that works for you within your unique circumstances. We often receive feedback from men after the first session that “I wish I had gone to counselling earlier” as men find simply discussing their concerns with a trained professional starts to take the pressure off.
Counsellors, unlike family members or friends, are less biased and emotionally involved and are therefore in a better position to assist you to find a solution that works for you, particularly as they are professionally trained in effective problem resolution.
It's a place where you have the opportunity to get off your chest whatever you have been unable to share elsewhere.
Making an appointment is simple. There is no red tape: no forms to fill out, no lengthy waiting list and you don’t need to discuss your personal issues over the phone. Simply phone 0845 25 77 496 or email and make an initial appointment.
If after reading this you are still not convinced if therapy is for you, and you don't feel like contacting us to chat about it, then we recommend reading Steve Biddulph's book Manhood, which can help start you off on your journey. Have a look at the resources on our website (under info). Good luck!